Apr 17, 2004

Have not been able to stay awake for more than a couple hours at a stretch today, and my head is full of gunk; ergo, I must hypothesize that I'm sick. Had ambitious plans for getting any number of things done today, but have not had much energy to do anything. It's difficult to discern if the lack of energy is due to some kind of physical illness or due to depression exacerbated by physical illness. I cannot remember feeling this tired for a long, long time. Maybe it is the immanent Spring which is making me tired; I've been sick of the lousy weather, but somehow the sudden warmth and sunnyness seems like an affront. For some reason the passage of last spring to this spring seems like a clean unit somehow. And it was a rough year. One of the roughest, I've had in fact; perhaps that's why I'm so tired. I feel very conscious of having aged somehow since last year, perhaps its just taking some time away from various escapist activities has induced me to finally take a damage report, and I realize that the damage is extensive. And there is no port in sight.

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