I went home to Connecticut and ate some turkey. I feel more or less the same as when I left.

I am thankful that I do not have a hideous second head protruding from the side of my head like a tumor with human features.

Highlights of the holiday include two, count 'em, two, Bernice Burgers at the inimitable Shady Glen with Liz and her friend Erik. Afterwards we watched The Exorcist, which was nice but it didn't cheer me up as much as I thought it was going to.

For all you seekers of points, watching disturbing horror movies with me during holidays is a sure way to rack 'em up. For Christmas I'm thinking maybe The Omen or perhaps Burnt Offerings. It'll be like the winter wonderland in that song. Only with blood. And ghosts. And demons.

For Christmas I think I would like a possessed devil totem. The perfect gift for the man who has everything...except a soul...and a heart...and well, you know the rest.

I'd really like to be able to projectile vomit at will (cuts down on those bar tabs), but in lieu of a possessed devil totem, a bottle imp or a Jenny Haniver or a prostitute who likes Language Poetry will do.

Thanks.